My good friend Daniel has been living in China,
and since his blog hasn’t been working from there,
he’s been sending out big e-mails, frequently.

This is an excerpt from a recent e-mail,
which I particularly enjoyed, on relationships:

it seems to me that lasting, true love between two people is about being close and trusting and sharing and joyously intertwining. from this growing union of two hearts and minds comes understanding of the other and insight into the unique dynamic that you create together. you learn what she wants and needs, how she thinks, her sensative spots, her longings, her dark corners, her shame, her pride, her heart of hearts–there are no limits to the insight we can have into each other. as mysteriously as the special bond of love began between the two of you, so it continues to grow and deepen. from this love and understanding of what’s really going on with your partner, it becomes clear how you can serve her best, what really heals her , what she needs to hear, what she needs you to do. everything you do for her is because you truly want to, because it’s so important to you–it’s work that you’re commited to, that you labor in joyously because it’s so deeply meaningful to you. there’s no accomodation, no grudging concessions, and no fearful, confused fighting or running away.

Well said, my friend.

Sometimes I forget that we love to complicate,
that it’s easy to complicate,
and that it’s generally gratuitous to complicate.

I enjoy that people are complex, multi-faceted
creatures, full of intricacy and detail;
but that needn’t mean we can’t be simple too.

And this is the trap that I fall into,
too often: a mind-trap of worry, doubt,
second-guessing and over-thinking.
But I’ve overcome it again, loosed my grasp
on the shiny bauble of drama that had my hand
caught tight in its snare, and relaxed.

Were I once a buoy, I’ve now grown a sail,
and I’ve set my course with no fear for waters unknown.
Here there be monsters.

To be plain: I feel I’ve lightened up a lot,
particularly as concerns romance and relationships.
Perhaps we can never truly know another person,
but I find people fascinating anyway, as is,
and if I find one person particularly interesting,
or beautiful, or fun and exciting, then by all
means I’ll do my best to know that person better,
and no longer fear the consequences.

It’s that fear, itself, that dooms us.
I was so sure of that in Ohio, but I forgot
somewhere between, so that the higher I’d climb
the more I’d look down and the farther I’d have
to fall. But I’ve stepped off the ladder now;
nowhere left to fall but up.

I feel good about this.

–

I started reading Plato’s Republic yesterday,
but quickly got tired of his rhetoric.
I hate sophists! These are the types of conversations
I zone out to when my friends have them:
semantics and verbal trickery; and it’s not much
more interesting in print. I’ll return to it,
but I’ve given up for the time being to read
Swan Lake by Mark Helprin, since I’ve finally
finished Winter’s Tale (and it only took me a few months!).
Come November, I may have to eschew reading to write,
but ’til then I’ll try to find some quick inspiration in
Helprin’s angelic prose. Speaking of, if you never have,
read Winter’s Tale. It may be the best-written book
I’ve ever read, even if I wasn’t entirely happy with its finish.

–

On one last note, my very good friend, Jason, has
emerged from his cocoon of web-silence and started
his very own blog. He’s a fantastic writer, thinker
and poet, and one of the most educated people I know,
so stop over at In Search of Honesty
and wish him a pleasant welcome to the blogosphere.