Entries from November 2004 ↓

Today would mark the four-year anniversary of my relationship with Emily (you know, if that whole “break-up” thing hadn’t happened). To mark the occassion, I sent her an e-mail, said thanks for the time we spent together and that I thought she was a wonderful person. I got a similiar note in return. It’s good to be amicable, though I admit sometimes I regret that things didn’t work out better between us. I like the direction of my life right now, and I wouldn’t change it; but there’s always the thought that I just didn’t try hard enough. Enough. Enough though, it’s a vain game to play in one’s head, and ultimately futile. I wish happiness and fulfillment (to everyone) and am ready to move on with everything.

To Emily: Happy Anniversary (or non-anniversary, really);
Wish I could give you a big hug, at least.

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Brendan has some good links involving activites in Fallujah; you know, if you feel a little too optimistic about life right now.

This article is fascinating, as is the associated blog, if you’re interested as I am in the idea of fiction blurring with reality. Who knows if these things are true, and who cares. Life’s more interesting if you believe that these things are happening all around you, all the time. To paraphrase Karla, we’re all living our own autobiographies: we pick the music, the camera angles, and the actors we play with. Some of these stories overlap, and some of them read like spy novels. That’s what makes life interesting. I may not have upscale private detectives tracking my movements across the globe, sent by a Don Corleone father with deep pockets and an arranged marriage waiting in the wings; but I lead a life of private adventure, and I’m happy with it. And despite Nick’s list of reasons not to move to Canada, I think I will. Or at least, I’m going to do my damndest to end up in Montreal by next fall, and to stay there for at least two years. Besides, I like the metric system. Thanks to all you kind strangers for your encouragement in this. It’s past time for me to jump ship for a bit and see where the current carries me.

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So, I nearly joined the Eagles here in Olympia, mostly because the Eagle’s Hall is where we swing dance, and Christine, the main swing organizer in town, is a big Eagles campaigner. I was supposed to be initiated this last Tuesday, actually, ’til I thought about it and realized that I really didn’t know anything about this organization. It’s a community organization dedicated to “people helping people”, but it still seems more to me like a cult, and I can’t help but wonder if the values they choose to uphold are really the values I want to spend $60 a year supporting. Christine was disappointed, because in the end it’s all about saving the ballroom for our dance. I told her I’d gladly donate $30 specifically to save our dance space, but I didn’t feel like selling my soul to a “fraternal order” so early in my life. Am I just crazy, or does a group like this kind of scare anyone else?

Words of the Yak (my friend, Nick):

Lets look at this administration from an existential (non-aristolean) view-point.

What would this administration be able to do that would be politically radical?

Overturn Roe v. Wade? Nope.

Confirm Satan Incarnate as the next National Security Advisor? Nope.

Strip you of all of your possessions and place you in an internment camp? Nope. Only Democrats and Socialists do that.

(after all, it WAS FDR that put people into internment camps)

So, existentially, there is just not enough evidence to warrant such a great depression about Bush being re-elected. You cannot go by the word of fat people with cameras, nor can you go by the word of Religious Fundementalists with political capital.

You want to blame someone for this war? Blame everyone that voted “yea” and has a little D next to their name.

My initial response:

If someone walks up to you and says “I’m going to shoot you. Would you prefer I shoot you in the head, or in the foot?” Getting shot in the foot is a whole lot better than in the head, but that doesn’t mean you should be happy about it. Similarly, saying that we could be worse off, having say, Hitler as president is no way of justifying Bush. I’d much prefer to not get shot at all, thanks.

I don’t understand why an existential viewpoint would only regard “radical” changes, and why other changes that are more possible aren’t considered radical as well. For instance:

1000+ Americans have died and 7000+ have been injured during the War on Iraq. Fine, I’ll blame all the “yea-sayers” with a D by their name; they shouldn’t have, but in my opinion this is still Bush’s war.

What about the $422 billion defecit. Is that not radical? The national debt is at a record high, that’s pretty radical too.

Spending $270 million on abistinence-only programs, while slashing funding for any other programs (non-abstinence-based) to help avoid STDs?

How about 200 million acres of protected land opened to development, and blatant favoritism allowing plants to skip around clean air standards (among the other things he’s done to kill our air)?

I mean, c’mon, some of these things are pretty in-your-face effecting. Bush may not overturn Roe v. Wade, nor confirm Satan Incarnate in any position in the White House; but he could easily create another list like this in the next four years … and that would just be 200 things too many to be able to put up with.

I agree that the Democrats made plenty of mistakes in this race. Personally, I would have preferred Dean or Kucinich, though I’m not sure either would have won. Like Rome, the mob is America; and they relate to Bush, somehow.

Personally, I agree with the editors of the New Yorker:

Pollsters like to ask voters which candidate they’d most like to have a beer with, and on that metric Bush always wins. We prefer to ask which candidate is better suited to the governance of our nation.

Am I going to whine about it to the point of not moving on with my life or saying “Well, we’ll just have to do better next time.”? No, but nor will I bother to hide my disappointment or feeling of disenfranchisement with American politics.

I don’t understand people that say they think that Kerry running the country wouldn’t really make “that big” of a difference. Read this list of facts from The Nation, and the editorial from the Nov. 1 issue of the New Yorker entitled “The Choice”. Each clearly demonstrates, in my opinion, that George W. Bush is the most arrogant, ignorant, evil, and harmful leader our country has ever elected. Sure, everyone does stupid things, and makes bad decisions, and if you put them all together in a list like that, out of context, with no positive remarks, anyone could then be made to look like the devil. So, show me an equivalent list of 100 good things George W. has done, and I’ll shut the hell up.

Theo recently remarked on his blog that as a conservative he’s tired of being summarily dismissed, or immediately classified somewhere in the KKK, brain-dead, right-wing christian, biggoted nut-job demographic. I happen to live with Theo, and have noticed since the election (and just before) that he’s been close-mouthed (with me, at least) about all things political. We don’t normally talk politics anyway, so it wouldn’t normally be a big deal, but recently I have tried to prod him into some conversation or debate, and get fairly summary responses. So hopefully he doesn’t think I’m one of those who’s pigeon-holed all conservatives into a one-step-up-from-denizen-of-hell conglomeration. I’m not. I am genuinely curious, though, because I’ve yet to hear any justification or positive remark for Bush beyond “Kerry wouldn’t do much better, anyway”. Generally, I don’t enjoy political conversation. Lately, I’ve felt like starting up a huge, rollicking debate with intelligent peers from both sides of the political spectrum. Maybe I just need to go back to Evergreen and take a class in Current American Issues or something. Maybe I just need to go live in a cave. I don’t know.

This fellow has an interesting notion that the current discouragement that youth might be feeling could lead to a rise in intellectual query and particularly, a boom in existentialism. If only such wonderful things could be true.

But don’t forget, Sartre also said l’enfer c’est les autres. [hell is other people]

Racy, I know, but I was referring to this.

So I’ve gotten all link-happy, and added quite a few. I seem to have the tendancy to enjoy reading the accounts of Americans in other countries. Should I read something into this? I don’t know. Perhaps proof that I need to move to Montreal, or perhaps just to Canada 2.0. Then I too can be an international blogger. And I can swear in Québécois: Tabarnak! Criss! Caliss! Okay, so I’m fairly limited so far … but I can work on it. Honestly, I don’t even swear very well in English. I generally just swear to add emphasis to a point I’m trying to make, which is really the most mild manner in which one can swear. I’m a failure at true vulgarity. But then, the best part about Québécois swearing is that the words themselves aren’t really vulgar, they’re mostly just adapted from common church words: i.e. Tabarnak just means Tabernacle. Nothing your mother will slap you for saying. In true French swearing, saying things like “Putains de merdes!” can get you into trouble, even in a loud bar … but then, it’s not very polite.

As for les jurés Americains, someone recently told me that the word “fuck” derived from the acronym, “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge”; which I believed just long enough to tell someone else, and then I thought “…hold on a minute”. It just didn’t seem right. Another urban legend is that the word derives from the acronym, “Fornication Under Consent of the King”. Either explanation is rather enticing, but both are debunked here. Go figure.

A whole new host of links along the right there, at the bottom, including lots of local stuff. Nothing too exciting, unless you’d like to know more about Olympia. Hey, Olympia’s a cool place, so why not!?

My lax work schedule means I have always had Fridays off, but since I’m only part-time and yesterday was a holiday, I neither worked yesterday nor got payed for pretending to work yesterday, so I get to make up the hours today. Okay, so I get off at one; it’s not as though my life’s that tough, but next week I work Monday - Saturday, and regardless of how many hours that is (not many) it’s still a pain in the ass. I’m still applying for library work, but I seem to be cursed and if nothing pans out there soon, I may end up getting a part-time service (restaurant) job to tide me over for awhile (holiday season and all). That’s it for informative; here’s something impromptu:

Brown-eyed ballerina of verbal skill,
bandies carillon in sonant flutter to
charm the sun against the window-sill
and set my heart a-stutter.

[the author makes apologies for being a sap]