Entries Tagged 'work' ↓

I was going to move to Tacoma.

I was going to work at the Tacoma Library.

It was going to be full-time, and I could have afforded to buy a kitten, eat two meals a day, and walk in the park.

But NO! My band of pirate lizards will make you pay, Tacoma Library!

In related news, I’ve noticed a trend, more and more, towards impersonal and graded interview techniques. No longer does it matter if you have a winning personality, or, frankly, what your interviewer thinks of you. First, before anything, you take a test which will determine your eligability to even get an interview. If you score in the top 16, of about 80 people, you will be interviewed. I scored 7, good enough, considering I forgot a calculator and had to do about 30 long math problems on paper. During the interview, they write down, nearly verbatim, all your answers. Later, this is run through an algorithm that will pull out certain “buzzwords”: welcoming, relate, cornucopia, etc …. These words will help in determining how precisely you answered the question like they wanted you to answer it. Each answer will then be given a score, and the talley will be the final score for your interview. Personality and desire, as long as they are not clearly unacceptable, are not scored. The score for your interview, indifferent to what your interviewers thought of you or how much you’d really, really, really like the job, will solely determine your success.

Soon enough, a robot will interview you, and record your voice. It will run the algorithm, determine eligibility and based on employment and interview history, the likelihood of any of the following interviewees doing better than you, and will tell you if you got the job on the spot.

“Thank you for interviewing with HAL 9000, your friendly interview-bot. You’re fired.”

In an effort to mix things up a bit in my life, I recently applied for a job at the Tacoma Public Library. For those not familiar with Washington geography, Tacoma is about 30 miles north of Olympia on the I-5. It’s a city known for smelling bad, but it’s also got some damned cool stuff going on, a much better darts scene than Olympia, and is half the distance to Seattle. So hey, why not!? I interviewed for the position yesterday, after taking an hour-and-a-half written test the week before, and I have to say that I think it went very well. The commute can be pretty bad between Oly and Tacoma, as far as traffic goes (perhaps even as bad as this), which is why I’m thinking of moving up there when my lease runs out the end of July. Whether or not I get the job. There are certainly more jobs available up there, so even if I don’t get this job, it seems reasonable to assume I’d be able to find something in a relatively short period of time. Right? Right.

While I was waiting to interview (I got to the library a good 40 minutes early), I walked around a bit. The main branch of the library has an art gallery, called the Handforth Gallery. The current exhibition is by a group called Beautiful Angle. I liked one in particular.

Random bits:

Daniel Craig is going to be the next Bond. After seeing Layer Cake, I think he’ll do a superb job (though he needs to darken his hair). Check it out, and let me know what you think.

Existentialism is, for me, a simple guideline on how to live. “Be.” Or perhaps rather, “You are, so you’d better be enjoying it.” I appreciate it as a philosophy in which people have to take responsibility for themselves, something which seems to be less and less prevalent in our (American) society. I’m curious what other philosophically-minded folks think about society’s views on responsibility, and what role existentialism could play in the modern world. Granted, as a philosophy, it’s a bigger word than most people would like to deal with. Much longer a word than, say, “God”.

Steamboy is playing downtown at the Capitol Theater. I wanna go watch it.

In parting, remember: the monkey represents sharing.

I signed up for a free week at a local gym, for a kick-boxing aerobics class that lasts one hour and keeps you moving non-stop. Yesterday evening was the first time I gave it a shot, and it kicked my ass. It’s a nice, full-body and cardio workout, though, so I figure I’ll keep going until I’m built like a Greek god, Adonis, or at least get rid of my “spare tire”. Today I’m sore from head to toe, but it feels nice to have gotten out and done something physical, and I’m going to do my best to keep it up.

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I applied for a job (yes, I know, again) as a Technology Support Specialist at Saint Martin’s College (which is where I already work at the library reference desk). It’s a full-time gig, and one that opened recently because the previous guy was fired under dubious circumstances. I don’t know how qualified I am for the position, but I’m going to emphasize “trainability” and see how well they buy it. If I get the job, I’ll be nervous as hell for awhile, because honestly when it comes to computers I always feel like I operate through guesswork, and than my supposed “knowledge” about computers is all a big sham. But then, that’s kind of why I would like the job, so that I can get over that and learn some actual computer skills that will help me a lot in the future, hopefully also as a professional librarian one day (which is still the goal).

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Last but not least, I was sent this list yesterday, which I had already read but which was fun to revisit. If you’ve not read it, it’ll get your funny on.

Washington Post’s MENSA Invitational

The Washington Post’s MENSA Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners. (None of them get through spellcheck.)

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and thev person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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Of course, I had to make up a couple of my own, and I apologize if they are “groaners”.

Laciturn: (adj) used to describe dairy cows that refuse to moo.

Endolent: (adj) prone to falling asleep before the movie is over.

Platidude: (n) just your average, cliché stoner

Morifund: (n) what your greedy relatives would like to get when you die.

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Tonight I’m going to watch “Finding Neverland” at the Capitol Theater. Then we may go swing dancing up in Tacoma. I wish you all equally splendiferous evenings.

Ciao!

Things punk-ass kids say in the library that I overhear:

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“How long have you been playing?”

“Oh, like four years.”

“Do you have a lot of good cards?”

“Yeah, I even have The Dark.”

“What’s that?”

It’s like, the first cards that came out.”

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“I even beat the original Zelda. You know, on the N64.”

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And I died a little bit, each time. Thus reconfirming my status as a renegade dork hero. And then one of the little prats tried to regenerate a goblin he had just sacrificed, and I was forced to step in. I’m not sure what they thought, some guy who was moments before quietly reading the shelves next to them, all of a sudden informing them that they were not playing the game correctly. I also explained that you could block with a creature, and then sacrifice it before damage was dealt, and the attacking creature would still be blocked, but would itself take no damage. They looked momentarily as though I’d grown horns.

It was great.

… and lava, and java, and guava, and brava, and kava. It’s kind of suprising how many things rhyme with bava, if you think about it. Of course, “bava” may not technically be a word (Dictionary.com doesn’t recognize it), so I may be cheating. But just maybe.

First, my abject apologizies for my sloth-ee bloggerness lately. I’m a mean and horrible person and should be divested of all my joys and successes. Or perhaps you’ll simply say, “Meh, whatever, I just read this sheit ’cause I get bored at work,” and I can happilly move along with my life, and all its little joys and successes can remain intact. Your call, folks. My eternal well-being is now in your hands. Be gentle.

So why have I been so reticent, of late? I blame it on the entire female gender, but could probably narrow it down to one woman in particular, if I really put an effort into it. Which I won’t. So, really it all started with Eve (if you go for that “Garden of Eden” creation thing), and the problem just sort of ballooned from there. And honestly, this whole “female gender” problem, or rather, this one woman who takes up all my time, is entirely worth every second, and I’m having the best time. Ever. So, really, I don’t regret for a minute (maybe 43 seconds or so, though) my blog-slackitude. Rest assured that if there were 96 hours in each day, I would most certainly devote at least 2 of them entirely to blogging, as I really do enjoy it quite a bit. As there are only 24 in each day, I end up with 2 hours every 4 days, and that will just have to do. For now.

But I’ve been loving writing the micro-fiction every week. I hope you have been enjoying reading them. I spoke with my friend Joseph, who’s the most prolifically creative person I know, and he may start submitting some micros, and get some friends in on it as well, so we may get quite the creative upswing soon in that department. I’m quite excited. Quite.

In other news, we had our poker night last night. Since I had to be at work by 8 this morning, I wasn’t too excited about playing for long, and thus was the first to get knocked out. If you’re not feeling poker, you’ll lose. This seems to be a logical fact. Anyway, our friend Adam brought some home brew over, and we listened to some good music, and had our guy’s night and rollicked (very manly rollicking, mind you) and it was good. I took a metric snapton of photos, and glancing at them this morning, some turned out pretty good, so I’ll throw some up here as soon as I get the opportunity.

Finally, and this is also a reason I’ve been a bit too busy to blog, I applied for a new job as a “Community Library Assistant I” at the Timberland Library in Yelm. It’s a bit of a drive, but the job is full-time with benefits and decent if not stupendous pay, so I think it will be fully worth it. More importantly, it seems like a really solid position where I could learn a lot and get some very valuable experience. It was an internal-only posting in the Timberland system, and I fit the qualifications well, so it’s time to cross those fingers again and see what happens. I figure that if Theo got his new job (which he did), then I can get mine.

Have fun kickin’ it oldschool. You know I am.