I would not want to run a mile with a thousand spectators watching me intently, and I don’t know why. I think I could probably make it a mile without collapsing, if I jogged it, at least. It’s not a soul-bearing act, but I’d prefer to have a thousand people watch me write, or read, or just sit and stare at a wall. I’d rather give a speech in french in front of a thousand french people, I think. Scary ….
Today has been a bit melancholy, a day where I just want to relax, and feel like the world is judging me for my inaction. I revere stillness as much as action, silence as much as speech, meditation as much as thought. It’s often in my silence that the world makes me feel alone.
It’s a beautiful melancholy. Don’t begrudge me it.