Ye Olde Archive Archived Posts: 2004-2009

30Oct/04Off

“Vote for me and I’ll set you free”

The polls are just around the corner.
Don’t forget: “Vote early, vote often.”
Oh, by the way, if you’re lazy like me,
and didn’t watch the debates as they happened,
you can watch them all online here.
Some other good discussion here and here.

Health’s fragile again, though it seems like I just gone done being sick recently. Mostly body ache this time, slight fever; perhaps I just need more sleep. Well, despite staying up late tonight for the concert, I have nowhere to be tomorrow, and I plan on sleeping most of the day, if not through the whole damned thing and into Monday. Ahhhh, sweet, sweet slumber. “To sleep, perchance…”

I dream of falling, dream of flight,
of pipers calling out the night,
of sunlight steeping in the dew;
I sleep, perchance to dream of you.

I dream of limbs, of sweat and heat,
of bodies ‘twined between the sheets
and as the dreams, at last, are through,
I wake to find - they all were true.

Ha. See, Eve, we all have sappy, bad poetry in us.

I have to admit, I’m yet a bit giddy about this new relationship in my life; and honestly, I hope to be for a long time. I’ve become prone to spontaneous, goofy smiles and randomly bursting into song and dance. Okay, so randomly bursting into song and dance is nothing new for me, but lately I’ve felt more exuberant about it.

An hour ago, hail fell like small loaves of bread
past the windows (really, really small loaves);
now the sun is shining against the damp leaves,
transforming them into small shards of emerald light.
I love my Washington weather.

Filed under: love, news, personal, poetic 2 Comments
28Oct/04Off

Call me Vin [one day]

Swing-dancing four days a week now, which is just crazy. But I’m enjoying it (for the most part) so no complaints. Some of the better swing dancers in Oly and I have begun to work on a swing routine to be performed this Christmas season sometime. It’s involves a flip, and a lot of catching and weight-supporting on falls. Just watching the video (because they did it previously with two couple; this time we’ll have 4-5) made my back ache. So, time to hit the mats, so to speak, and work it out. I’d like to start doing some yoga (because I could use the flexibility too), but mostly need to work on upper body strength and back support (abs). So I’ll probably just do some basic weight training. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free … I’m sadly incompetent when it comes to fitness.

Skipped poetry last night (much as the week before) to hang with Alexis. We got some ice cream (mmmmmmm) and went to my place, watched the end of The Punisher (the new one) with Theo and Tim (and it sucked), and then watched some Fishing with John, which is a fun show where John Lurie goes fishing with different folks in different places, such as with Tom Waits in Jamaica (which is what we watched), or with Jim Jarmusch somewhere on the US coast. Then we watched the premiere of Drawn Together, which I must admit I had high hopes for, but which was ultimately disappointing. So much potential … and yet it ends up so base. What a tragedy.

Full moon tonight. Awesome eclipse last night, which I hope everyone got to see. Somehow, the sky in Oly was generously clear; today it resembles, as per usual, a gray blanket. I watched as the last sliver of light was shadowed over, and the moon looked like a wax-paper cutout, hung up in the sky, dark but visible. There’ve been plenty of eclipses in my life, but somehow, this is the first I’ve actually watched. It’s crazy to think about celestial motion, the sizes of planets; that our shadow blotted out the moon for an hour as we came between it and the sun. Some part of that shadow was my shadow (not literally, sure), transposed over pale moonrock.

To celebrate the full moon: pinochle and yellow tail.
Tomorrow: a random drive to Portland to drop off friends.
Saturday: work all day, then Jason Webley in Seattle.
Halloween: not sure, maybe I’ll watch scary movies and eat junk food all day. That sounds fun.

Then November arrives, and I start writing.
And something more cohesive than I’ve been able
to form here, recently. Oh, the horror.

Filed under: cinema, personal No Comments
26Oct/04Off

Come play with us, Danny

My good friend Daniel has been living in China,
and since his blog hasn’t been working from there,
he’s been sending out big e-mails, frequently.

This is an excerpt from a recent e-mail,
which I particularly enjoyed, on relationships:

it seems to me that lasting, true love between two people is about being close and trusting and sharing and joyously intertwining. from this growing union of two hearts and minds comes understanding of the other and insight into the unique dynamic that you create together. you learn what she wants and needs, how she thinks, her sensative spots, her longings, her dark corners, her shame, her pride, her heart of hearts–there are no limits to the insight we can have into each other. as mysteriously as the special bond of love began between the two of you, so it continues to grow and deepen. from this love and understanding of what’s really going on with your partner, it becomes clear how you can serve her best, what really heals her , what she needs to hear, what she needs you to do. everything you do for her is because you truly want to, because it’s so important to you–it’s work that you’re commited to, that you labor in joyously because it’s so deeply meaningful to you. there’s no accomodation, no grudging concessions, and no fearful, confused fighting or running away.

Well said, my friend.

Filed under: love, personal No Comments
26Oct/04Off

A jellyfish, maybe; but definately electric

Sometimes I forget that we love to complicate,
that it’s easy to complicate,
and that it’s generally gratuitous to complicate.

I enjoy that people are complex, multi-faceted
creatures, full of intricacy and detail;
but that needn’t mean we can’t be simple too.

And this is the trap that I fall into,
too often: a mind-trap of worry, doubt,
second-guessing and over-thinking.
But I’ve overcome it again, loosed my grasp
on the shiny bauble of drama that had my hand
caught tight in its snare, and relaxed.

Were I once a buoy, I’ve now grown a sail,
and I’ve set my course with no fear for waters unknown.
Here there be monsters.

To be plain: I feel I’ve lightened up a lot,
particularly as concerns romance and relationships.
Perhaps we can never truly know another person,
but I find people fascinating anyway, as is,
and if I find one person particularly interesting,
or beautiful, or fun and exciting, then by all
means I’ll do my best to know that person better,
and no longer fear the consequences.

It’s that fear, itself, that dooms us.
I was so sure of that in Ohio, but I forgot
somewhere between, so that the higher I’d climb
the more I’d look down and the farther I’d have
to fall. But I’ve stepped off the ladder now;
nowhere left to fall but up.

I feel good about this.

I started reading Plato’s Republic yesterday,
but quickly got tired of his rhetoric.
I hate sophists! These are the types of conversations
I zone out to when my friends have them:
semantics and verbal trickery; and it’s not much
more interesting in print. I’ll return to it,
but I’ve given up for the time being to read
Swan Lake by Mark Helprin, since I’ve finally
finished Winter’s Tale (and it only took me a few months!).
Come November, I may have to eschew reading to write,
but ’til then I’ll try to find some quick inspiration in
Helprin’s angelic prose. Speaking of, if you never have,
read Winter’s Tale. It may be the best-written book
I’ve ever read, even if I wasn’t entirely happy with its finish.

On one last note, my very good friend, Jason, has
emerged from his cocoon of web-silence and started
his very own blog. He’s a fantastic writer, thinker
and poet, and one of the most educated people I know,
so stop over at In Search of Honesty
and wish him a pleasant welcome to the blogosphere.

Filed under: book, love, personal, poetic 1 Comment
23Oct/04Off

The soundtrack to my life goes like …

Well I hope that I don’t fall in love with you
‘Cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display
your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you
calling out for me
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well if you sit down with this old clown,
take that frown and break it,
Before the evening’s gone away,
I think that we could make it,
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don’t understand,
Well I turn around to look at you,
you light a cigarette,
I wish I had the guts to bum one,
but we’ve never met,
And I hope that I don’t fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me,
and it being late, you’d like some some company,
Well I turn around to look at you,
and you look back at me,
The guy you’re with has up and split,
the chair next to you’s free,
And I hope that you don’t fall in love with me.

Now it’s closing time, the music’s fading out
Last call for drinks, I’ll have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you,
you’re nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face,
guess I’ll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.

Connecting with Tom Waits now like a brother,
and just looking for people who understand me;
sometimes they seem so few. It’s a lot to ask,
as seldom as I understand myself, but I’m tired of
feeling adrift. This life has a rudder, which until now
has been but another ornament. Do I have the courage
to allow it to be the instrument I use to guide my life?

I believe in compromise, though I try hard not to be
compromised by it. Sometimes everyone can come out ahead,
but more often life’s a matter of give and take,
the balance between is a razor’s edge in a relationship.
Often I’m too willing to give myself away,
but that always leads to destruction in the end.

Last night I spoke with Emily on the phone, and though
the conversation could be considered somewhat mundane
(though we had a good if brief talk on relationships)
I had something of an “oh yeah” sort of moment;
that this is what it felt like to talk to someone
I identified with, who I understood and who understood me,
how could relate and who cared. I won’t gush,
but it was a nice feeling. [thank you]

I’m feeling sentimental and easily swayed,
rocking like a buoy in the breakers,
waiting to capsize.

One day I’ll remember:
buoys can’t capsize.

And then what?

Filed under: love, music, personal 3 Comments