Year Four

Today would mark the four-year anniversary of my relationship with Emily (you know, if that whole “break-up” thing hadn’t happened). To mark the occassion, I sent her an e-mail, said thanks for the time we spent together and that I thought she was a wonderful person. I got a similiar note in return. It’s good to be amicable, though I admit sometimes I regret that things didn’t work out better between us. I like the direction of my life right now, and I wouldn’t change it; but there’s always the thought that I just didn’t try hard enough. Enough. Enough though, it’s a vain game to play in one’s head, and ultimately futile. I wish happiness and fulfillment (to everyone) and am ready to move on with everything.

To Emily: Happy Anniversary (or non-anniversary, really);
Wish I could give you a big hug, at least.

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Brendan has some good links involving activites in Fallujah; you know, if you feel a little too optimistic about life right now.

This article is fascinating, as is the associated blog, if you’re interested as I am in the idea of fiction blurring with reality. Who knows if these things are true, and who cares. Life’s more interesting if you believe that these things are happening all around you, all the time. To paraphrase Karla, we’re all living our own autobiographies: we pick the music, the camera angles, and the actors we play with. Some of these stories overlap, and some of them read like spy novels. That’s what makes life interesting. I may not have upscale private detectives tracking my movements across the globe, sent by a Don Corleone father with deep pockets and an arranged marriage waiting in the wings; but I lead a life of private adventure, and I’m happy with it. And despite Nick’s list of reasons not to move to Canada, I think I will. Or at least, I’m going to do my damndest to end up in Montreal by next fall, and to stay there for at least two years. Besides, I like the metric system. Thanks to all you kind strangers for your encouragement in this. It’s past time for me to jump ship for a bit and see where the current carries me.

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So, I nearly joined the Eagles here in Olympia, mostly because the Eagle’s Hall is where we swing dance, and Christine, the main swing organizer in town, is a big Eagles campaigner. I was supposed to be initiated this last Tuesday, actually, ’til I thought about it and realized that I really didn’t know anything about this organization. It’s a community organization dedicated to “people helping people”, but it still seems more to me like a cult, and I can’t help but wonder if the values they choose to uphold are really the values I want to spend $60 a year supporting. Christine was disappointed, because in the end it’s all about saving the ballroom for our dance. I told her I’d gladly donate $30 specifically to save our dance space, but I didn’t feel like selling my soul to a “fraternal order” so early in my life. Am I just crazy, or does a group like this kind of scare anyone else?