Build me like Adonis, cover me like Justice

I signed up for a free week at a local gym, for a kick-boxing aerobics class that lasts one hour and keeps you moving non-stop. Yesterday evening was the first time I gave it a shot, and it kicked my ass. It’s a nice, full-body and cardio workout, though, so I figure I’ll keep going until I’m built like a Greek god, Adonis, or at least get rid of my “spare tire”. Today I’m sore from head to toe, but it feels nice to have gotten out and done something physical, and I’m going to do my best to keep it up.

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I applied for a job (yes, I know, again) as a Technology Support Specialist at Saint Martin’s College (which is where I already work at the library reference desk). It’s a full-time gig, and one that opened recently because the previous guy was fired under dubious circumstances. I don’t know how qualified I am for the position, but I’m going to emphasize “trainability” and see how well they buy it. If I get the job, I’ll be nervous as hell for awhile, because honestly when it comes to computers I always feel like I operate through guesswork, and than my supposed “knowledge” about computers is all a big sham. But then, that’s kind of why I would like the job, so that I can get over that and learn some actual computer skills that will help me a lot in the future, hopefully also as a professional librarian one day (which is still the goal).

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Last but not least, I was sent this list yesterday, which I had already read but which was fun to revisit. If you’ve not read it, it’ll get your funny on.

Washington Post’s MENSA Invitational

The Washington Post’s MENSA Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners. (None of them get through spellcheck.)

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and thev person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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Of course, I had to make up a couple of my own, and I apologize if they are “groaners”.

Laciturn: (adj) used to describe dairy cows that refuse to moo.

Endolent: (adj) prone to falling asleep before the movie is over.

Platidude: (n) just your average, cliché stoner

Morifund: (n) what your greedy relatives would like to get when you die.

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Tonight I’m going to watch “Finding Neverland” at the Capitol Theater. Then we may go swing dancing up in Tacoma. I wish you all equally splendiferous evenings.

Ciao!