Crotchfruit
n. A derogatory term for children coined by staunch advocates of child-free public spaces. Breeders (aka parents) have now embraced the epithet and call the anti-crotchfruit zealots the real crybabies.
– from Wired magazine’s Jargon Watch
(with apologies to my friends who have crotchfruit of their own … or on the way)