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And I’m so lonesome now …

I was a high school drama geek and it changed my life. Before drama I was quiet, shy — painfully shy — and had no luck with the ladies. Somehow, being involved in acting changed all that, and as I became more confident and sure of myself, life in general got a whole lot better. It’s funny how that works.

The only really sad part about this story is that I never learned how to act. Despite the many things I gained from being in drama, I really don’t think acting ability was one of them, and I feel like a lot of this has to do with our drama teacher, who we (dis)affectionately referred to as “The Beast.” I’m not sure why, except the fact that she was rather beastly. In her theater, acting ability was always secondary to being able to project and to knowing your lines. Which is fine, sure. Those are good skills. But for those of us who had a talent for remembering lines, and had learned how to project, her lessons were wasteful and superfluous. And we never learned any, you know, acting skills.

All of this just to get to the point that the only good thing I ever learned from the beast, really, is that no matter how you feel your performance will turn out; indeed, even if you know that your performance is going to suck, a lot, you should never start apologizing before you’ve even begun. Never tell people you’re going to suck. Let them figure it out, and who knows, maybe they’ll like you anyway. Somehow. Maybe you don’t suck as much as you thought you sucked. Who knows.

So I won’t say that the song I’ve linked below here sucks. Because it doesn’t. I will say that I’m not the greatest singer, but I hit a great Jack White note in there somewhere, and I can learn to be satisfied with that.

Ahniwa Ferrari — I’m so lonesome now
[audio:https://www.ahniwa.com/blog/uploads/im-so-lonesome-now.mp3]

3 replies on “And I’m so lonesome now …”

That song far from sucks. It sounds like bumping down a dusty road in a beat-up truck with no shocks. I love the “Jack White” note; super-cute altogether.

Great point and sound advice. I can’t imagine you having ever been shy. Reminded of one of the core principles of learning how to play the piano: if you screw up, don’t stop, keep playing, and don’t worry about it.

If you can’t imagine me being shy, you’d surely be surprised at how shy I actually was. I wasn’t a little shy. I was a lot shy. I’m much happier not being shy, now. Thankfully. Sometimes I’m still a little shy though.

hecates: I like the truck metaphor. And, of course, being super-cute. I like that too 🙂

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