Like Clark Gable

So I got a brand new jobby-job. Yes indeed.

Formerly just:

Ahniwa Ferrari: Library Assistant II, Reference
Saint Martin’s College

And now also:

Ahniwa Ferrari: Library Aide
Tumwater Timberland Library

Okay, so it’s not flashy. Nor is it particularly elegant.
But it’s MINE! Today shelving, tomorrow the world.
The irony is that I’ve never been to the Tumwater Library,
and now I have half an hour between jobs to find it,
and try to eat lunch. Good thing I’m a library employee,
and therefore resourceful. Anyway, I’m only going to be
working a grand total of 34 hours a week, give or take;
so I’m not high-rolling, but I’m sure it will seem like
a lot for awhile. Even working 19 hours a week, I never
felt like I had that much free time. And now it
will almost be true. I prefer the busy; I’ll adjust.

–

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd
I know you’re wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

– The Postal Service, “Clark Gable”

Thinking about that shiny green bit at the center of us,
about connections and comfort and reciprocation.
We’re all so strange to each other.

I think relationships have to connect both emotionally and practically. But it’s difficult and rare for those two to go together. In my case, too often: emotional beginnings, practical endings. I yet believe that there is truth, that love is real.

I’ve got a shiny green bit: infinite strong, hopelessly fragile.