Attack monkeys? Attack monkeys!

The coolest news story, ever.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 Today the Paris Guardian reported on the hottest new trend in Parisian gang weaponry: attack monkeys. “They’re ultra-fashionable,” said Didier Lecourbe, a police officer from the depressed Paris suburb of Aubervilliers. “Now that the authorities have cracked down on pit bulls, Dobermans, and rottweilers, apes are becoming the new weapon of choice.” Imported illegally through Spain from Gibraltar, Morocco, and Algeria, the Barbary apes are known for their powerful limbs, sharp teeth, and short tempers; removed from their natural habitat, they can become highly aggressive, and their favored method of attack is to hurl themselves at people’s heads. Police believe as many as 500 Barbary apes have been smuggled into France in the past two years.

Thanks to Jason for the link.

I’d like to think they got the idea from us.