Reticence, I smite at thee…

And ‘lo there was a great smoting, and those quiet moments between words were banished, and the cup of conversation runneth’d over, and there was a great rejoicing.

Sometimes you just can’t do events justice with words. Letters glued together like matchsticks trying to build the strongest bridge, but that annoying kid who eats lunch with you sat on it, and it was never meant to withstand that sort of “earthquake”. Poor, poor matchstick bridge …

My analogies keep running way the hell away from me. We’ll simply call them expeditious and leave it at that.

The short of it is that I met a girl. Those of you who are vigilant would have noticed two posts, that lasted just a day or so, and were then deleted, expressing my enthusiasm about said girl. They were deleted because, when the pot comes to boil, some things are still private, and even if I don’t care that strangers know my most intimate moments and/or embarrassing analogies, it’s not my place to share everything that involves other people. Besides, sometimes you just have to play your cards close to home. This blog is, after all, ridiculously easy to find.

So it was one of those conundrums. And I panicked. These things happen.

So I met a girl, and I was completely flabbergasted. As a friend has told me since (and I would tend to agree, now), my being completely flummoxed about this girl said a lot more about where I was then it really did about her. But you can’t tell these sorts of things to a madman. We went on a date, I bought her dinner, I was smitten instantly. We talked about France, and film, and school and friends and London and travel and language … oh the things we said! The conversation was good, to put it simply. The next day I sent her flowers, and then I didn’t hear from her for a couple days, and got dreadfully anxious. When I happened to run into her at a restaurant downtown, it all seemed so serendipitous that it HAD TO BE FATE! Seriously, my brain was all gunked up with romance. Stupid thing.

A few nights ago, as I was walking around my neighborhood, admiring the stars, she called me and we had a nice conversation. It was nice until the “I can only offer you my friendship” part, and then it was kind of not-nice. But it did help get my head screwed back on straight, and it really didn’t hit me as hard as I was setting myself up for. Thank goodness for skeptical friends who are completely willing to balk at your inexplicable enthusiasm and give you sketchy glances when you’re being foolish. I pay heed to these things, anymore.

So the “f” word was dropped, not so much like an atom bomb as like a … I dunno, water balloon. I was disappointed, sure, but I don’t have anything if not perspective, and I’m a resilient son-of-a-gun, anyhow.

Besides, y’all wouldn’t love me if I weren’t unpredictable and spazzy. The longer people know me the less surprised they get when I do completely off-the-wall things, without explanation or warning. And usually so mild-mannered and level-headed … but that’s what makes life snazzy!