I find this comic to be consistently funny.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present:
Categories
Author: ahniwa
Categories
Liberty, Equality, Constant Supervision …
ACLU joins fight against internet surveillance.
Some lawmakers have already joined their voices with the opposition. Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., cautioned that the mandates could give the government the authority to dictate software designs, drive innovators offshore and threaten security as well as privacy.
Cornell’s response to the CALEA amendment.
Not for profit accredited educational institutions contribute uniquely to American society by exploring and sharing knowledge for its own sake. Teaching, research and outreach rely fundamentally on principles of unimpeded communications and open inquiry. If the uncertain administrative, financial and technical expenditures suspect in this regulation do not alone exacerbate the many burdens that currently challenge the autonomy of higher education, the technical oversight provision is plainly inconsistent with our missions. Were no other means available to achieve its purpose, the government could argue a compelling interest. But the alternative exists. Cornell University already provides this kind of information when properly served. Therefore there is no compelling government interest in this specific surveillance technique and it most certainly is not a narrowly tailored method for compliance.
ACLU calls for vote against cloture on Patriot Act.
“Congress must not let a fake threat by proponents of Patriot Act to let it expire to cause them to support a defective bill,” said Lisa Graves, ACLU Senior Counsel for Legislative Strategy. “Common sense corrections that would better focus limited resources and protect the privacy of innocent Americans already enjoy strong bipartisan support. Lawmakers should adopt them.”
That’s right, ’cause I’m clever like a fox.
Said Ravenclaw, "We’ll teach those whose intelligence is surest."
Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Their diabolical cunning should be well-respected, if not worshipped.
Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron’s affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine’s editor).
Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created!
Drama Llama has a MySpace account.
Lacking a llama of our own, we had to make do with actual drama, matrix-style kung-fu, and our sweet computer hacking skills. Which worked out pretty damned well, I think. I mean, check out panel 2. That panel is a work of art. Save it, print it out, and hang it on the wall. I mean, really.
There will be more of the posting later. Until then, practice your sweet comment-leaving skills.
Later that day…
Do you depend on La Casa Comics to keep you informed about what is going on in the world? If so: What in the FSM’s good name is wrong with you!? Regardless of the fact that you’re clearly insane, I’ve plumbed the depths of the internets (i.e. I looked at Technorati’s top 10) to bring you today’s breaking news.
Ever since I mentioned Dawn Yang in this post, we’ve continuously gotten hits to our site for people that just HAVE TO KNOW what the pretty internet lady is up to. I maintain ignorance as to why this might be important. To anybody. But there you go. Dawn Yang is the poster-child of the internet right now. So what has good old Dawn been up to? Well, she has a nice Snow Patrol song playing on her website. Compulsive music on websites is one of my major peeves (in other words, I hate pretty much everyone on MySpace), but at least it’s decent music. Her blog has been quiet lately since the “fiasco”, and perhaps that’s the best way to deal with it. I stated before, and will restate, that I don’t see what the big deal is. Let the poor girl get back to her life. Besides, we have such better things to gossip about now.
Like Jennifer Aniston’s boobies. Oh wait, right … I don’t care about her either. There must be something wrong with me. I don’t particularly want to see nude pictures of Jennifer Aniston. What do I want? I want Playboy. In Braille. Now those are some hot “bumps”. Am I the only one that doesn’t find Aniston that attractive, or more importantly, attention-worthy? Anyway, the news is that some “razi” took some topless photos, and now Jennifer is gonna sue. And well she should. I mean, she can’t have just anyone taking nude or nearly nude photos of her, when she makes bank selling equally racy photos to GQ. GQ named Aniston their first ever “woman of the year”. I don’t understand. Someone please explain this to me. Has she been saving babies from burning buildings? Does she give 80% of her net income to third-world countries? Oh, right, we are talking about GQ. Perhaps she has just been seen in some nice outfits this year. That would probably do it.
Firefox is on there. Firefox is good. Firefox 1.5 is now available. I haven’t bothered yet, as I hear the differences are not drastic by any means, but I’m sure I’ll get around to it. I’ve never really had a need to be at the front of the line when it comes to such things. But then, if you’re hearing this for the first time, from me, then you’re not either. Let’s start a club!
The Xbox 360 is mentioned, as is Howard Dean, and some other things I don’t know anything about. In any case, I’ve rambled on more than enough for one day.
I’d like to dedicate today to two of my favorite regular readers: Sister Amos and Sister Rachel. Shower them with your kind comments and affections, for they are worthy.
This would be a terrible gift for the visually impaired, because you don’t give the visually impaired one quarter of a decade-old Playboy as a gift.
But for you? Put it out on the coffee table like I did. Owning Playboy in Braille is like having a Day-Glo orange monkey that can curse in Farsi. It gets attention. People talk.
So far today I’ve already had stuck in my head:
Fefe Dobson – Stupid Little Love Song
The Lovin’ Spoonful – Do You Believe In Magic?
Dr. Seuss – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
I’ve got garlic in my soul, and it tastes delicious.
So I’m going to geek out on your for a second. If you have a high opinion of me as a man of culture, a refined individual of exceptional tastes, or a debonair superspy, then first I’d like to know what you’ve been smoking, and second, you might want to stop reading this right now. I’m proud of my geekdom, but I’d hate to ruin such ludicrously high opinions of me. They’re in short demand.
Anyway, so I was playing Icewind Dale 2 last night, until about one in the ay dot em dot, and aside from really liking it a whole lot, I remembered why I got so infuriated with the basic D&D system, back in the day when I was the uber-dork. In one word: casters. In two words, one hyphenated: low-level casters. Low-level casters in the D&D system get about 4 spells, per day. This means that, in extended dungeon crawls and larger, multi-part encounters, they either have to conserve their spells, and thus either: a) show off their exciting dagger-throwing skills, or b) show off their incredible melee skills, or c) examine flaws in the fighter’s technique while they clean their nails, making sure to loudly exclaim about various improvements the fighter could make after the fight is over. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget d) die quickly before they even get a chance to cast anything. The other option is that they can use their spells quickly (at least getting them off before option “d” occurs), and then sit around doing any of options “a” through “c”. Why on earth, I ask, would I want a caster who has to spend most of his time as a fifth-rate melee class?
They seem to have made some improvements in this regard, and perhaps it is entirely better later on in the game. But I am, and will always remain, sad that the better system never caught on. I was always a huge fan of Earthdawn (warning: ugly site). Earthdawn kicks ass and takes names. I haven’t played in a LONG time, but here are some of the traits I remember and appreciate:
Melee to hit and be hit was based on dexterity. Armor didn’t affect this except that heavy armor could reduce your dexterity roll. What armor did do was reduce the damage you took when you were hit. “Critical” hits were “armor-defeating” blows, thereby bypassing the armor damage reduction. I always thought that this melee system made a heck of a lot more sense. Similarly, dexterity gave you bonuses to hit, while strength gave bonuses to damage. Also more sensible.
Magic-using types begin with a pretty flush spellbook. Per level, they get a certain number of spell slots, so to speak, which are basically spells they have memorized. They can cast these spells over, and over, and over, and over, and over, to their heart’s content. Additionally, they can cast any spell in their entire lexicon at any time, though the ones that they don’t have actively memorized at the time are much more difficult to cast and require some additional checks.
Finally, add that melee don’t choose to just “attack”. Instead, they use an attack skill (of which there are many) to attack in a way they choose. Each skill is a little different, each class has different specialties, and it makes hack-and-slash oh-so-much more fun.
But enough about that. Earthdawn was one of the few systems (and I’ve tried many), where I enjoyed playing a fighter as much as a cleric as much as a rogue as much as a mage. The worlds and stories were interesting, and the roleplay was always easy and fun.
But back to Icewind Dale II. The combat is fast-paced and real-time, and I have a measure of difficulty controlling 4-6 characters in real-time when they’re all doing different things. Granted, it’s the only way to keep things running smoothly or the game would slow way down, but I do kind of pine for the old, turn-based system I grew up with. The tasks are fun, the story is interesting, and the voice-dialogue is well done. I’ll stick it out for awhile yet, but that whole spell-casting thing is a major thorn in my side. Oh well.
Thus ends my review, and rant. The rant is really more about D&D spell-casting systems than about Icewind Dale II. ID2 is fun. D&D, as the rpg medium, is a joke. Honestly, I’ll just never understand why Earthdawn didn’t take the table-top world by storm. No accounting for taste, I guess …
—————-
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.
I wouldn’t touch you with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.
Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crocodile.
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: “Stink. Stank. Stunk.”
You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled-up knots.
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseous super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.
You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
We jumped around a bit, what with the Secret Crocodile Adventure Club bit, and the Bumvertising strip thrown in there. You might say we lack focus. We like to think that we excel in multitudinousness. Ooh, shiny!
Huh, what? Anyway, today’s strip follows this strip, where we left Ahniwa and Beth in the midst of a “date”. As you might have guessed, things get … interesting. Be sure to stay tuned as the thrilling story unfolds!
On the business side of things, the archives button up top now works, and will be phased in to the navigation bar under the comics as well. I’ll keep it updated once a week. Who knew we’d be doing this long enough, and with enough strips, that an archive menu would not only be helpful, but almost necessary! Crazy! The about link works now too. So if you’ve ever wondered who the heck we are, that might shed a smidgeon of light on the subject. Not too much light though. We’re shy, and mostly nocturnal, after all.
In other news, our humble comic is getting noticed! Woohoo! We’ve been linked from a blog called Space For Commerce, who found us through Dean’s World, where this fellow recommended us. He was, in turn, turned on to the comic by one of my co-workers. So, for this great big chain of links, thanks Margaret! This is proof positive of the power of word-of-mouth advertising. As for the Secret Crocodile Adventure Club contest we entered, we got 8th, out of 16. You can check out the entries here. I like some of the other submissions, but honestly think we might have deserved top three status. It’s cool though. We like the Club, and we like the Archcroc V, and we’d hate to wake up being eaten by a caiman any time soon ….
Thank you, everyone, for enjoying the comic, and spreading the word. I’m not sure you know how warm and fuzzy it makes us feel that people are reading, and sharing, what for us is an exciting and entertaining adventure. I hope you enjoy this little story-line, which will continue on Wednesday. ‘Til then!
update: Two more links! Another Dean’s World reader, this fellow over at Dodgeblogium. And a permalink on the sidebar of Hungry Hollow Book Tank, which appears to be run by our friend Sky, who also blogs here. I’ll warn you now, and it may get tiresome, but until the novelty wears off (and that may take awhile), I’ll continue to link back to everyone that links to us. I’m a little obsessed.
Categories
025: Because we think it’s absurd!
This is a true story.
I mean, it’s serious news!
My name for it: Panhandler Oppression.
That’s all I got. Have good weekends. See ya Monday.
As opposed to being eaten, and to appease Sister Amos, who worries of such occurrences in an obsessive manner.
First off, I found this site. This site is ridiculously awesome. Sure, it’s crass, but so are monkeys. Some gems:
Meteorologists here have forecast a drop in temperatures
after days of severe heat which forced officials to convert local citizens
into ice-cream bars killing dozens of people in the past week.
A Chinese safari park has dyed the fur of its monkeys black, yellow and
white to ring in the Lunar New Year of the Monkey, which started on Thursday.“We had to anaesthetise them first,” said a worker at the Forest Safari
Park in the city of Shenyang. “That was really hillaroius, we got drunk
and used their unconcious bodies as puppets”.
The Rhinos wouldn’t normally eat meat but they are stupid and
easily tricked.
And with pictures like this, this, and this, you know you’re getting your mon(k)ey’s worth.
I voted for the Monkey King. Twice.
That is all.
Perhaps today is the day I finally break my brain trying to think up something topical and interesting to blog about. Perhaps my brain will actually fry, or implode, or create a small but powerful black hole into which all the world’s matter will be sucked. I suppose I could just talk about crocodiles, and their factual or fictual tendancy to eat monkeys. I could even talk about gavials a bit, and try to reason out why our illustrious Archcroc V dislikes them so. Like a coward, I’m sure I could go on for at least two more paragraphs, in a mildly amusing fashion, about not knowing what to blog about. I’ve always enjoyed the irony in that, simple though it is, and if you go back through my archives you’ll notice that I’ve done it at least three or four times. Nothing like beating a joke to death until it’s just … not … funny … anymore.
In the end, and since I have to finish this up in the next five minutes or so, I think I’ll keep this factual and sentimental.
Yesterday I was sick and I called in to work. Then it snowed. So I got a snow-day, with hot cocoa. How fucking rocking is that! Right? Then I got to have coffee and lunch with my sister, who just moved back to Washington. Then I cleaned my apartment, watched a movie, and got my cuddle on.
I’m a snuggler, big-time. It’s ridiculous. This last week I’ve been very happy to have someone, who I think is pretty damned awesome, to snuggle with. And on a snow-day … well you just can’t get more ideal than that.
I wish you all the warmest and happiest moments of snuggle, as this cold weather heightens and persists. Our snow didn’t stick, ’tis sad, but we’ll surely get more as winter sheds its timidity and advances upon us with a libertine smile on its lips.
The wind bites at the heels of clouds as they gracefully crest the distant rolling green. Behind the trees the sky blushes, turning the clouds to fire.
I think of the snow this morning, large, white, damp flakes that coated the world so briefly before melting. Inside and warm, Hermes and I dance to the steady beat of wordplay.
I’d like you to take a moment and look at this google image search of “blackberry pie”. Notice something? Not a single one of them look half as good as my pies. Some of them even tried to do a lattice crust, and the results were, frankly, rather sad. Amy says “pie duel!”, to which I respond, “It’s so on, dude!”
Amy knows my super secret, (I’m too cool for surfer chicks) so it might be a close battle.
This week I’m ordering a digital projector to go with the home theater surround system that I bought yesterday. Once assembled, this set-up will shake worlds, decimate the minds of children, and annoy neighbors. And I’m so absolutely excited. Wanna come over and watch a movie?
Categories
The Life of Pie
I don’t cook often, and that may be for the best. I’m not a bad cook, I’m just unmotivated. Besides, my talent has always lied more with baking. I believe I may have mentioned, previously, that not only did I make the BEST PIES IN THE UNIVERSE, but also that I had photographic proof. Well, behold! These were made from scratch, in case you had any doubt. And they taste divine.
Three cheers for blackberry pie goodness!
I hope you all had equally yummy treats over the holiday. 🙂
I’ve officially dubbed today “Typography Monday”. What does this mean? A couple things. For one, it means I named the theme of the day before Theo, and that’s a first. Second, it means that Theo is much zanier than I, but I outgeek him at a ratio of 3.7 to 1. So, yeah … typography.
It all started when Theo mentioned that I should get a printing press. Since I have a small apartment, I would have to keep it in the kitchen, which would mean no more eating. Ever. I countered with a cunning business plan, which I have named:
Font-Face Sandwiches. Open-Font Sandwiches?
Who knows, the point is, it’s totally brilliant. Just think, an “amper-sandwich” with cheddar, mustard and tomato. Ellepsis eats for the hunger that never … really … ends ….
Ampersandwich! Hahahahahah!!!
And not just sandwiches, either. How about:
Garamond Gazpacho
Lucida Lentils
Spaghetti Sans Serif
I could go on, and on, and on. Really, you’d be amazed and worried about just how ongoing I could go.
Hamburger Helvetica
Courier Croissants
Arial Angel Hair al Dente
Okay, that one is just dumb. But you get the picture. I’m taking a half day today. Think I’ll go have lunch … like an ampersandwich! The only food that practically asks you to add a side-dish!
If you read Kottke, and you should, you saw this link already. I’m a burgeoning typography geek (or at least I’d like to be), and thought this was absolutely fantastic.
You can check out the forum I stole this from, here.
I’m sleepy and happy today. It’s an obvious, tell-tale condition, and I guess I’m just not that good at keeping secrets. But I’ll be damned if I’m not masterful at vague insinuation. I should take up a career as an professional insinuator, confusing situations to the point of hopeless illogic. What can I say, it’s what I do.
If the sun were made of marmalade …
… I’d need a much, much bigger slice of toast.
As it is, I feel like butter spread over just enough bread.
I was forced to post or forfeit my life, so if this rambling makes no sense to you, blame it on my antagonists.
—
Five years ago and change –
and if you were here now …
things would not be as they are.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
I wouldn’t change us. Not a bit.
Well, maybe that time you got killed by orcs.
Sorry about that.
—
I bought a typewriter on ebay the other day. It’s not just any typewriter, either. It’s a Hermes 3000 and it’s going to completely change the way I type my writing. Watch out, world!
No, but I got it specifically for writing letters. There’s something about the way a letter written on a typewriter looks. It’s classy without being impersonal, eccentric without being trendy-eccentric. To be honest, there is one letter that I need to write, to release, to send out into the world. And it couldn’t be done, honestly – it couldn’t be done at all if it weren’t done on a Hermes typewriter. So, there you have it. I’m sentimental. I cry during movies, I’m moved by music, and I buy typewriters to send letters that are long overdue.
I don’t know what good may come of it. Perhaps none. It may, before it has even begin, be a futile gesture. Nonetheless, I will persist. Sentiment beats reason, everytime.
—
I wish you all the very best of Thanksgivings. I met a lovely girl, who charms the hell out of me. So much for being vague. 🙂
Oh, and just so the universe knows:
I make the best blackberry pie, ever. People WILL attest to this, perhaps even in writing and not at gunpoint. Just wait, I’ll post pictures as proof. My lattice-top crust is awe-inspiring!
Categories
Standardize this!
This may be cheating, but not everyone who reads the comic reads my blog, so I feel justified in a double post. Besides, it’s free advertisement. I originally wrote this post here, following an awesome comic strip introducing the word “edu-natrix” into the American lexicon. Which just goes to show that if you aren’t reading La Casa Comics, you should be.
Education is one of those wacky things. It is, in my opinion, one of the most valuable resources available to anybody, no matter their interests or their professions. Education is a tool for personal and professional growth, a weapon against ignorance and oppression, and it makes its own sauce. And in the United States, at least, it’s becoming more and more of a joke.
While the “No Child Left Behind” act makes such claims as, “Every child can learn. Every child must learn. And thanks to NCLB, every child will learn.”, Kansas has gone off the deep end and made “intelligent design” a mandatory part of the science curriculum.
The good old NCLB goes on to say:
Fortunately, there are schools and reform leaders across our Nation who have shown how quickly effective leadership can transform student achievement and how swiftly success can sweep through a school. With a dedicated focus on accountability and achievement, any school that needs improvement can create a new culture of learning and excellence. The good news is that we know much more about what works: scientifically proven methods; aligned standards, assessments, and instruction; school and district leadership focused on student learning; accountability for results; and highly qualified teachers will improve achievement and bring success. Admittedly, our Nation’s commitment — to teach every child — is ambitious. But we have the tools and we have the know-how. Working together, we can ensure that all students succeed and that the achievement gap is closed, once and for all.
And in the meantime we cut educational funding, screw over schools and libraries, and pump money into weapons, oil, and wars. And as China teaches us, cutting educational funding gets students run over by big trucks. Come on America, we don’t want our students to be killed in traffic, do we!?
I could probably spend about 10 hours writing out this post, but I don’t want to, and I don’t think anyone would read it if I did. So I’ll try to wrap things up. The tricky thing about education is that if you don’t have one, you don’t realize what a valuable thing it is that you’re missing. It’s like if you’ve never read Kant, you don’t realize how dull and brain-melting the process is. And you won’t get it when people make offhand references, as I just did. You are missing out, truly.
Parents need to read to their kids. Education starts at home. Teachers need to get excited about getting kids to learn. I had an alternative style of education, in which I was taught the value of learning, and after that pretty much given the option of how often and where I wanted to go to school. As a result, I home-schooled for two years, went to middle school as a part-time student, and dropped out of high school halfway through my junior year. I got my GED, worked for a year, and then went to college, and I’ve never regretted a single one of those choices. I pursued the education that worked for me, because the way the system had things layed out didn’t always make sense. NCLP is making restrictions tighter, and trying to improve education via standardization and testing.
To be blunt, fuck standardization, and fuck testing. Teach these kids the value of an education, and they’ll do the work themselves.
“It is only the ignorant who despise education.”
-Publius Syrus (42 B.C.)
Question of the day:
Is it on Technorati because it’s popular? Or is it popular because it’s on Technorati?
Discuss.
From the DaVinci Institute:
We have put together ten key trends that are affecting the development of the next generation library. Rest assured that these are not the only trends, but ones that have been selected to give clear insight into the rapidly changing technologies and equally fast changing mindset of library patrons.
Read the rest here.
Looking at templates, I came across a whole lot of what looked like Latin, starting with the text “Lorem Ipsum…”. Very brief research led me here, which offers an awesome explanation, as well as a Lorem Ipsum generator.
Neat!